Normal Feelings
I feel loneliness all the time, but I think it is normal to experience this feeling (not once or twice, but as though like any other emotion). This loneliness makes me think of marriage. But I think this is all normal and merely a distraction to try and attain my focus from God. That is, my focus should be on Him, not my ‘loneliness’ or these natural feelings. Likewise, I still debate whether “a wife” would even be a “need.” I do not want to say a wife would be a need because God provides me with all my needs. I am — should be — content.
God has a plan for me, and when He feels it is time (if there even will be for this particular subject) He will introduce us to each other. Again, my focus should be and needs to be on God. By focusing all of myself on God, it means that I am also trusting Him with my future, my needs, and my worries. When the time is right, He will have whatever needs to happen to happen.
Yes, life is difficult at times. Feelings and stupid small worries try to steal my focus and attention every day. In addition, certain temptations on the topic of lust and adultery happen all the time too — especially if all the women dress lightly exposing a lot of their skin in supplement to their beautiful faces.
I focus on God in one way by trying to literally fill as much of my time and schedule with things that would, could, and do bring me closer to Him. Going to Church, Bible studies, prayer meetings, and simply being present amongst Godly youth (or good company) are some things to do in that time.
Even at those places and activities, me being socially dysfunctional and disconnected, will try to fill idle time. So far what I usually do is just read from God’s Word (aka from the Bible). It keeps me in His word, attempts to focus my mind on His word, and keeps my eyes and thoughts from wandering because even in churches some people may not dress mindfully (or maybe they do). Even if a woman dresses mindfully, their facial beauty can still be enough to trigger temptations.
