Joy Unbound

I guess I’m restarting this blog to turn into my daily blog (or atleast try to). I still have thoughts about that Rachel Joy Scott assembly that took place two weeks ago (or was it three?). Changed my heart forever; finally left the dark room of solitary confinement and silence.

Rachel became a Biblical modern role model to me. She could do what I hadn’t the guts for. And all these years I have been running from society and hiding in my cell. She made me jealous (in a good way), ashamed myself, and broke my heart. The stirring of my heart was so heavy that I could not walk away without giving to God what I owe, so I donated $5 to the group of speakers that go around this nation speaking about Rachel Scott in schools. I couldn’t have donated more or less, it felt perfect with a touch of peace.

I called my dad in and introduced the parts of Rachel and the assembly that touched me. (This was on the same day after school, by the way.) Every once in a while I call my dad into my room so that we can talk at a deep, personal level. This time I poured my heart out before God during the longest prayer session I’ve ever had. Time must have gone by quick; either that or we somehow had conversed together for about two hours about Rachel Scott and the assembly.

I keep thinking of the meaning of FCA as Family [Career/Christian] [Leadership] (I don’t know why, but the “A” doesn’t even come to mind). I know it means “Christian Athletes,” but I always forget what the “F” stands for. After looking it up, I rediscover that it is “Fellowship of Christian Athletes.” Just now I realized that the “F” literally defines the purpose of the club. Fellowship means “community of interest, feeling, etc,” or a “communion, as between members of the same church.”

FCA is a total disgrace in Fordland. It has been hijacked and poorly led. Although I do not know how true this is, but I overheard one of its members commenting in the midst of chattering during a meeting that everyone is basically a leader in the group anyhow. That is plainly wrong (not denying what he was saying, but as a notion) and defeats the purpose of leadership in the group. Second, it is apparent that inappropriate language such as using the word “gay” can easily be used without any open rejection from another member. I don’t care if it is a substitution for the word “stupid;” I mean, why do you even use ‘gay’ when you can use ‘stupid’? Gay originally meant happy. It was perverted and transformed to homosexual. It has been that definition for quite a long time now, and seeing teenagers of modern society attempt to transform it to a word like ‘stupid’ is even more shameful.

Third, leadership is ultimately at its worst. Infact, that is why I say the club has been hijacked. The whole group (each member combined) seems to move in their own selfish and sinful ways. First meeting: what shirt design should we get? Members will be paying for the whole shirt. *minutes after the meeting in the hallways* Oh, maybe we’ll just use some of that remaining $50 some dollars on the club account to help pay for the shirts (members will still pay the majority of their shirts). How.. Christian.

We meet as a group, in fellowship. That is true. But do we meet in fellowship for God or for ourselves, for our own selfish desires and sins? Now ask yourself this: would God personally approve of the shirts? If you think yes, then ask yourself why he would. The purpose of FCA is not to meet together so that we can eat donuts, socialize, think of cheap ways to raise money for the club (to eventually use up out of sinful desires; note that this is an assumption since this is my first time being in the club and ever realizing that it had existed), and discuss what shirt design the club will have. The club’s purpose is to meet in Godly fellowship and spread the gospel. It is a flagship for God’s message to carry to other teenagers.

Do you know why it is so important to maintain the purpose of the club? Just look at the conditions of society. See and realize the sin around you. Look at the sin in yourself. If you cannot realize it, then the chances are that God hasn’t called you to the position of being a leader in FCA. If you do realize the overwhelming and heartbreaking sin around you, then by no doubt you qualify (but this is hardly a qualification; there are other important qualifications to consider). Atleast it means that God is calling you to be involved in this group.

Why do you even attend the meetings and consider yourself a Christian? Tell me why. Can you lead me to Christ? I am a person in need and looking for Christ — help! What do you do?

I feel God’s calling to FCA. In fact, it appears as if this is the only opportunity God has given and opened to me for all 4 some years I have spent in Fordland. Surprisingly, this year (11th Grade) was the first time I had even known FCA had existed. Apparently it had existed for years now.

My objective right now is to straighten the club out and hijack it back for God. I doubt all of its members are actually Christian. There may be one or two (maybe three) that are actually seeking God but have a weak relationship with Him.

This is what needs to happen: forget about the shirts completely (in-fact, don’t even think about money or the account that FCA has), review the purpose and objectives of the club, strengthen each other’s relationship with God, praise God in songs and music, and be of personal support for each other. One thing is that you have to incorporate the “idea” of true friendship amongst the members, otherwise things wouldn’t work out (and mind you, it isn’t a very Godly spirit not to be true friends amongst each other anyway; be honest). There must be atleast two meetings per week, more preferably out and after school. Parents are legally able to attend in-school meetings, but can only be their to support the group — not to take the role of the student. Out of school, parents can take the role of the student (just so that you know).

Rules need to be enforced, somehow. If Bert can’t be of any reasonable aide, then I will straighten the group out myself with God’s help — so God help me.

My objective is to start and see a chainreaction unfold in the Fordland schools, before I graduate. The word “chainreaction” has become the sole objective in my faith to God. Since teachers nor parents can reach teenagers in school, it has become the student’s role to spread the gospel and lead one another to Christ. That’s what FCA is about. If you ask me, the “athletic” part of the group is really some bogus addition to somehow fit in with the school environment; and if you ask me, the group was created as a result of the whole Seperation of Church and State misunderstanding. I nor God will let FCA be hijacked, so long as I am still a student in the Fordland High school.

One of the things I want the members of the FCA to be exposed to is “Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God” by Jonathan Edwards. This is what softened my heart up over a year ago.

One thing I learned in the past year about being a Christian is that you can never fall away from God, die and goto hell. Once you become a Christian you will always be a Christian. The first stage of life is to recognize and repent the God who made us all. The second stage is till the day we day, and it is to “prove to God” that we want to follow him. Would you ever stop following him? Would you be willing to struggle against sin, evil, Satan until the Judgement Day? It is a test of time. In the mean time, within the same stage, it should be your interest (more than your interest actually) to spread the gospel and lead people to Christ. This is what I feel when I think about my status with God and FCA.

If you’re afraid of emotions, something is wrong with you. Pray to God to stir your heart and “break the chains.” God certainly stirred my heart, and I pray that God will stir your heart and the hearts of the members of FCA in Fordland. I pray that it stir their hearts and souls so disturbingly that they will all humble themselves before God in His presence.

I like to hop around when I export my thoughts, which is plainly what I am doing now. At times I can be quite a bit random in my writing. Be aware of that.

Be sure to grab a copy of Rachel Scott’s essay and read it thoroughly until you know it enough to write a copy of it in your own words. It’s good food for your soul.

Edit: I have uploaded a retyped version of Rachel Scott’s essay as a PDF and DOC file, which you may download below. (Right click on the link and save as.)
(DOC) Rachel Scott’s Ethics and Codes of Life
(PDF) Rachel Scott’s Ethics and Codes of Life